Tour is over. But people are doing different things now...
Monday, November 2, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
A mission for Mediocrity
OH! Wye Mills Maryland so much to say. Once upon a time we were at Chesapeake College, and it was quite the experience. Our Crew consisted of a Tech Director that knew nothing about tech. (pause-mini story time: After being asked where the student union was, so we could watch the inauguration, He had the audacity to say: “oh it’s right over there, I almost forgot that was happening today.” Regardless if you hate Obama and/or didn’t vote for him, it’s kind of one of the most historical events of our life time. “I almost forgot that was happening today” is not a valid response.) Back to the list: A woman in her late 30’s wearing heals at a load in who only knew how to talk in a whiney voice reminiscent of a 4 year-old child. Her boyfriend. A man with a British accent, and really long hair paired with a bald spot that made him resemble Gollum. His girlfriend. Rick our mid 40’s less than punctual crewmember, and poor Thomas who tried so hard to be useful. This crew, or as I liked to call them “The island of misfit toys” was running strong for the award of most useless crew. Which is saying a lot since they were competing against Long Island City’s crew, who were trying to be useless. Among there uselessness was a stage without a loading gallery, which is the dumbest design for a theatre I’ve ever seen.
On top of having to load in with the Island of Misfit Toys we were all becoming quite hangry. If you don’t recall from our earlier blogs, hangry is the emotion one feels when they are so hungry they become angry. After a long day of driving and loading in the set, food, doing laundry for the show (cause they didn’t have a washing machine…typical), and some Brothers & Sister watching, we all went to bed. Unfortunately we slept only to be awakened at 7:00am. Not by choice friends. No, no we did not have a show till 10:30. The woman in charge, Cathleen, called every one of our rooms in search Mark. First off the only name close to that is Matt, but the person she really was looking for was Dave. After going down the line calling everyone’s hotel room at 7 in search of Dave, she revealed her reason for calling. She felt that 7 am was a good time to let us know that because the hotel had a continental breakfast they weren’t going to provide any hospitality. None at all between our 10:30 am show and our 7:00 pm show followed by a load out. You could imagine we were far from pleased. So upon her sitting down in the tech booth to watch the 10:30 am show, Matt our amazing TD, passive aggressively told the other TD of our troubles. Being woken up early just to find out there was going to be no food for our little tummies. Prior to our second show there was a mystery platter of veggies, cookies, and pretzels. Now, whether the great Landini magiced this food for us, or this woman Cathleen got the picture is up for debate.
There was no time to actually get dinner since this college was a good 15 minutes away from any civilization. So I took it upon myself to order us some pizza from Dominos to be delivered right at the end of the show. I made it a point to insure that they had my cell phone number and to call me when they were there. I am a very antsy boy so when the pizza was not there on time at 8:10 I went looking in the lobby. The delivery woman was in a kitchen in the middle of a cooking class trying to find the owners of the pizza. Why a cooking class would order a pizza from Dominos is beyond my logic. She did not have the logic to call my cell upon her arrival, so I don’t know why the later surprised me. To top off her genius abilities, she didn’t have a pen for me to sign the bill. Which should have been a given, considering I paid with a card. Did she think I was going to sign it with her lipstick? Maybe a Crayon?
In conclusion there must have been a lot of stupidity in the water of these parts. I mean they were giving it away practically. My friends this may just seam like a long blog of Dany bitching about some dumb people. “Like get over it Dany.” But friends I say “NAY!”
The reason for stupidity can be made quite clear through the mission statement of the school that we were so lucky to stumble upon:
Chesapeake College
VISION: Chesapeake College will prepare students as independent learner who are intellectually competent, technologically proficient, skilled in the application of learning, and who share the values and common goals of our civic culture.
A.K.A: Chesapeake College will prepare student for a life of meritocracy not only in intelligence but with life skills as well, so that one day they will be properly trained to server the world… in fast food establishments across America.
~Dany
On top of having to load in with the Island of Misfit Toys we were all becoming quite hangry. If you don’t recall from our earlier blogs, hangry is the emotion one feels when they are so hungry they become angry. After a long day of driving and loading in the set, food, doing laundry for the show (cause they didn’t have a washing machine…typical), and some Brothers & Sister watching, we all went to bed. Unfortunately we slept only to be awakened at 7:00am. Not by choice friends. No, no we did not have a show till 10:30. The woman in charge, Cathleen, called every one of our rooms in search Mark. First off the only name close to that is Matt, but the person she really was looking for was Dave. After going down the line calling everyone’s hotel room at 7 in search of Dave, she revealed her reason for calling. She felt that 7 am was a good time to let us know that because the hotel had a continental breakfast they weren’t going to provide any hospitality. None at all between our 10:30 am show and our 7:00 pm show followed by a load out. You could imagine we were far from pleased. So upon her sitting down in the tech booth to watch the 10:30 am show, Matt our amazing TD, passive aggressively told the other TD of our troubles. Being woken up early just to find out there was going to be no food for our little tummies. Prior to our second show there was a mystery platter of veggies, cookies, and pretzels. Now, whether the great Landini magiced this food for us, or this woman Cathleen got the picture is up for debate.
There was no time to actually get dinner since this college was a good 15 minutes away from any civilization. So I took it upon myself to order us some pizza from Dominos to be delivered right at the end of the show. I made it a point to insure that they had my cell phone number and to call me when they were there. I am a very antsy boy so when the pizza was not there on time at 8:10 I went looking in the lobby. The delivery woman was in a kitchen in the middle of a cooking class trying to find the owners of the pizza. Why a cooking class would order a pizza from Dominos is beyond my logic. She did not have the logic to call my cell upon her arrival, so I don’t know why the later surprised me. To top off her genius abilities, she didn’t have a pen for me to sign the bill. Which should have been a given, considering I paid with a card. Did she think I was going to sign it with her lipstick? Maybe a Crayon?
In conclusion there must have been a lot of stupidity in the water of these parts. I mean they were giving it away practically. My friends this may just seam like a long blog of Dany bitching about some dumb people. “Like get over it Dany.” But friends I say “NAY!”
The reason for stupidity can be made quite clear through the mission statement of the school that we were so lucky to stumble upon:
Chesapeake College
VISION: Chesapeake College will prepare students as independent learner who are intellectually competent, technologically proficient, skilled in the application of learning, and who share the values and common goals of our civic culture.
A.K.A: Chesapeake College will prepare student for a life of meritocracy not only in intelligence but with life skills as well, so that one day they will be properly trained to server the world… in fast food establishments across America.
~Dany
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
PSA
After a recent, most heinous experience with a first kiss while on tour I have decided to put out a public service announcement. Now some people were taught in middle school, or maybe even in high school, that the appropriate way to kiss someone might be to try and spell out you name or even the whole alphabet with your tongue. Hopefully, at this point in your adult life you have learned that whoever taught you that was incorrect. It is not fun for anyone. Now you might think that my recent kiss was with someone who attempted this feat. Unfortunately for me, and this story, he was even worse than that. This man chose to only gyrate and thrust his tongue in an out of my mouth as if he were a bird peeking at the ground in search of worms. Now you might be thinking, “NO Dany, there is no way someone could be this bad at kissing.” SIR YOU ARE VERY WRONG! In most first kiss experiences the other person isn’t a perfect match. So you teach them things that you like. Most commonly that is by doing the thing you like to them. So, I a man who enjoys a little lip biting here and there, thought I’ll try biting his lip. As if giving the inspiration “oh I should try doing that too.” I bit his lip and he made a moan of delight. You would think all my problems would have been solved at this point. I pursed my lip as if to say “now you bit my lip.” Alas, he took this to mean “let me thrust my tongue in your mouth some more.” I tried this “teaching” technique several time with other classics. Like: the ear nibble and the simple peck. However, Mr. notsogreatkisser was either not in the mood to learn anything or just completely unable to be taught. At a point in the evening I weighed my options I could either pin him down in a very aggressive manor and say “listen buddy stop with the tongue thrusting, let me give you some new pointers.” Or just suffer through it all politely. I decided to go with option B. I sat there just letting it happen because I wasn’t in the mood to teach someone how to kiss. Instead I watched an old episode of friends… The one where Phoebe is trying to get pregnant with the surrogate babies.
People please, for you own sake listen to the person your kissing and be open to learning new things. And never, never, never, just thrust you tongue in and out of someone’s mouth. We are people, not lizards.
People please, for you own sake listen to the person your kissing and be open to learning new things. And never, never, never, just thrust you tongue in and out of someone’s mouth. We are people, not lizards.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Seattle: Won't you be my neighbor?
First of all, i want to formally apologize for the lateness of this blog post. That said, here is my account of the happenings at a certain bar in Seattle Washington...a little bar called "Neighbors".
To satisfy Dany's wishes to frequent a gay bar, Miranda and I once again became wingwomen. We decided to go to Neighbors as we had heard good reviews from one of Terry's friends. But, as is always the case with Enchantment, getting to said bar was nothing less than a great adventure. Once in Seattle, parking became a major issue as there was none. When we finally did find a decent spot deemed suitable for the size of our van a police car appeared out of nowhere, on a mission to let us know just how wrong our choice for a parking was. Once stopped in front of our van (therefore blocking our only way out of the "unfit" spot) the policeman rolled down his window just enough to insert a blow horn through it and proceeded to make the following statement, "Excuse me sir, you vehicle is too large to park in this spot...you must move your vehicle immediately"...to which we embellished said statements to be "sir, you are too big, too fat for that spot" (as if little bunny doesn't have enough inferiority issues to begin with) Now, because the super intelligent and absurdly loud policeman was parked in front of our van, Dany was unable to move and had to withstand criticizing comments from said police officer until he finally realized that our movement was dependent on his.
After this slight parking debacle we decided to park in a reasonable lot and foot it to "Neighbors". (Miranda was no longer crutching at this point, so she was in a sense footing it...maybe limping it is the most accurate description of her movement)
Once at the bar we got stamped (a stamp that would later serve the rabbit dance well) on our wrists and entered. As per usual the bar was not crowded but in its defense we were early. So we each got a beer and parked ourselves close to the dance floor so we could judge...we're really great people i swear.
Oh the dance floor...for starters there was "black widow", a man in a puffy black jacket who lacked moves of his own, but during the course of the evening preyed on innocent bad dance victims, sucking away their bad dance moves to further his already awful personal choreography. Other characters include modern dance lesbian couple who ignored the beat of any music, grinding and swaying away to their own far off beat. There were two straight couples composed of what we thought to be two strippers, one with a man sporting a serious mullet, the other with a man sporting no hair at all. We affectionately called these couples "the swingers" because they not only changed dance partners, but also changed make-out partners throughout the night...ewwwww.
One of may favorites was "fur jacket", a man who walked sketchilly around the bar in a huge fur coat. There was also "high socks and shorts guy", who step-touched in the corner of the dance floor while sipping a drink through a straw. precious.
Miranda, Dany and I greatly amused ourselves by walking upstairs, sitting in comfy chairs and watching the disastrous displays of bad dancing accompanied by couples of all sexual orientations showing their various levels of affection (super uncomfortable for us...but nonetheless like a car crash we are unable to avert our eyes away from) for each other. At one point we saw "black widow" pursue a woman we named "crazy legs". He pushed her up against the wooden railing and there they grinded away, made out and then poor "widow" was left alone as "crazy" went off to dance with a circle of lesbians.
Comedy and entertainment aside, we were also scoping out the scene for our Dany..seeing if there were any promising prospects worth pursuing. Finally we decide to go downstairs and begin dancing...Dany and i came up with a strategy for flirting...namely dancing with each other and then moving towards various prospects as they arise...our thought process being...Dany is so cute and can actually dance..who could resist?
Once we started dancing there was actually a point where everyone else cleared the dance floor to watch us...because we are super cute and they were obviously intimidated by our level of expertise! Little by little people began to come back and prospects began to arise. There was "green shirt" who was standing like a wallflower waiting to be approached. Unfortunately for us, "black widow" got to him first...we quickly danced in the other direction. Another big prospect was accompanied by very cute, possibly lesbian couple. I will call this man "straight suspenders". He was super cute, dark hair, dark eyes in good shape...lovely smile and as if to attract gay attention he was wearing rainbow suspenders! perfect! we started to dance over, trying to get our dany noticed, but suspenders wasn't really biting. We began to think he may be straight, but if he was...well we thought that would just be rude and distasteful. After consulting with Miranda and pausing in our quest to dance to "Single ladies"...Dany confidently marched over to mr. suspenders and asked him straight out (haha). The verdict...rainbow suspenders does not equal gay man. le sigh.
All in all it was good night though...lots of laughs...lots of characters. Nobody wanted to be Dany's neighbor and perhaps, for him, it turned out better this way and it gave us a lovely story to share with all of you.
But the question remains: why rainbow suspenders? that's just plain mean.
~ Tia
To satisfy Dany's wishes to frequent a gay bar, Miranda and I once again became wingwomen. We decided to go to Neighbors as we had heard good reviews from one of Terry's friends. But, as is always the case with Enchantment, getting to said bar was nothing less than a great adventure. Once in Seattle, parking became a major issue as there was none. When we finally did find a decent spot deemed suitable for the size of our van a police car appeared out of nowhere, on a mission to let us know just how wrong our choice for a parking was. Once stopped in front of our van (therefore blocking our only way out of the "unfit" spot) the policeman rolled down his window just enough to insert a blow horn through it and proceeded to make the following statement, "Excuse me sir, you vehicle is too large to park in this spot...you must move your vehicle immediately"...to which we embellished said statements to be "sir, you are too big, too fat for that spot" (as if little bunny doesn't have enough inferiority issues to begin with) Now, because the super intelligent and absurdly loud policeman was parked in front of our van, Dany was unable to move and had to withstand criticizing comments from said police officer until he finally realized that our movement was dependent on his.
After this slight parking debacle we decided to park in a reasonable lot and foot it to "Neighbors". (Miranda was no longer crutching at this point, so she was in a sense footing it...maybe limping it is the most accurate description of her movement)
Once at the bar we got stamped (a stamp that would later serve the rabbit dance well) on our wrists and entered. As per usual the bar was not crowded but in its defense we were early. So we each got a beer and parked ourselves close to the dance floor so we could judge...we're really great people i swear.
Oh the dance floor...for starters there was "black widow", a man in a puffy black jacket who lacked moves of his own, but during the course of the evening preyed on innocent bad dance victims, sucking away their bad dance moves to further his already awful personal choreography. Other characters include modern dance lesbian couple who ignored the beat of any music, grinding and swaying away to their own far off beat. There were two straight couples composed of what we thought to be two strippers, one with a man sporting a serious mullet, the other with a man sporting no hair at all. We affectionately called these couples "the swingers" because they not only changed dance partners, but also changed make-out partners throughout the night...ewwwww.
One of may favorites was "fur jacket", a man who walked sketchilly around the bar in a huge fur coat. There was also "high socks and shorts guy", who step-touched in the corner of the dance floor while sipping a drink through a straw. precious.
Miranda, Dany and I greatly amused ourselves by walking upstairs, sitting in comfy chairs and watching the disastrous displays of bad dancing accompanied by couples of all sexual orientations showing their various levels of affection (super uncomfortable for us...but nonetheless like a car crash we are unable to avert our eyes away from) for each other. At one point we saw "black widow" pursue a woman we named "crazy legs". He pushed her up against the wooden railing and there they grinded away, made out and then poor "widow" was left alone as "crazy" went off to dance with a circle of lesbians.
Comedy and entertainment aside, we were also scoping out the scene for our Dany..seeing if there were any promising prospects worth pursuing. Finally we decide to go downstairs and begin dancing...Dany and i came up with a strategy for flirting...namely dancing with each other and then moving towards various prospects as they arise...our thought process being...Dany is so cute and can actually dance..who could resist?
Once we started dancing there was actually a point where everyone else cleared the dance floor to watch us...because we are super cute and they were obviously intimidated by our level of expertise! Little by little people began to come back and prospects began to arise. There was "green shirt" who was standing like a wallflower waiting to be approached. Unfortunately for us, "black widow" got to him first...we quickly danced in the other direction. Another big prospect was accompanied by very cute, possibly lesbian couple. I will call this man "straight suspenders". He was super cute, dark hair, dark eyes in good shape...lovely smile and as if to attract gay attention he was wearing rainbow suspenders! perfect! we started to dance over, trying to get our dany noticed, but suspenders wasn't really biting. We began to think he may be straight, but if he was...well we thought that would just be rude and distasteful. After consulting with Miranda and pausing in our quest to dance to "Single ladies"...Dany confidently marched over to mr. suspenders and asked him straight out (haha). The verdict...rainbow suspenders does not equal gay man. le sigh.
All in all it was good night though...lots of laughs...lots of characters. Nobody wanted to be Dany's neighbor and perhaps, for him, it turned out better this way and it gave us a lovely story to share with all of you.
But the question remains: why rainbow suspenders? that's just plain mean.
~ Tia
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