Seattle: Won't you be my neighbor?

First of all, i want to formally apologize for the lateness of this blog post. That said, here is my account of the happenings at a certain bar in Seattle Washington...a little bar called "Neighbors".

To satisfy Dany's wishes to frequent a gay bar, Miranda and I once again became wingwomen. We decided to go to Neighbors as we had heard good reviews from one of Terry's friends. But, as is always the case with Enchantment, getting to said bar was nothing less than a great adventure. Once in Seattle, parking became a major issue as there was none. When we finally did find a decent spot deemed suitable for the size of our van a police car appeared out of nowhere, on a mission to let us know just how wrong our choice for a parking was. Once stopped in front of our van (therefore blocking our only way out of the "unfit" spot) the policeman rolled down his window just enough to insert a blow horn through it and proceeded to make the following statement, "Excuse me sir, you vehicle is too large to park in this spot...you must move your vehicle immediately"...to which we embellished said statements to be "sir, you are too big, too fat for that spot" (as if little bunny doesn't have enough inferiority issues to begin with) Now, because the super intelligent and absurdly loud policeman was parked in front of our van, Dany was unable to move and had to withstand criticizing comments from said police officer until he finally realized that our movement was dependent on his.

After this slight parking debacle we decided to park in a reasonable lot and foot it to "Neighbors". (Miranda was no longer crutching at this point, so she was in a sense footing it...maybe limping it is the most accurate description of her movement)
Once at the bar we got stamped (a stamp that would later serve the rabbit dance well) on our wrists and entered. As per usual the bar was not crowded but in its defense we were early. So we each got a beer and parked ourselves close to the dance floor so we could judge...we're really great people i swear.

Oh the dance floor...for starters there was "black widow", a man in a puffy black jacket who lacked moves of his own, but during the course of the evening preyed on innocent bad dance victims, sucking away their bad dance moves to further his already awful personal choreography. Other characters include modern dance lesbian couple who ignored the beat of any music, grinding and swaying away to their own far off beat. There were two straight couples composed of what we thought to be two strippers, one with a man sporting a serious mullet, the other with a man sporting no hair at all. We affectionately called these couples "the swingers" because they not only changed dance partners, but also changed make-out partners throughout the night...ewwwww.

One of may favorites was "fur jacket", a man who walked sketchilly around the bar in a huge fur coat. There was also "high socks and shorts guy", who step-touched in the corner of the dance floor while sipping a drink through a straw. precious.
Miranda, Dany and I greatly amused ourselves by walking upstairs, sitting in comfy chairs and watching the disastrous displays of bad dancing accompanied by couples of all sexual orientations showing their various levels of affection (super uncomfortable for us...but nonetheless like a car crash we are unable to avert our eyes away from) for each other. At one point we saw "black widow" pursue a woman we named "crazy legs". He pushed her up against the wooden railing and there they grinded away, made out and then poor "widow" was left alone as "crazy" went off to dance with a circle of lesbians.

Comedy and entertainment aside, we were also scoping out the scene for our Dany..seeing if there were any promising prospects worth pursuing. Finally we decide to go downstairs and begin dancing...Dany and i came up with a strategy for flirting...namely dancing with each other and then moving towards various prospects as they arise...our thought process being...Dany is so cute and can actually dance..who could resist?

Once we started dancing there was actually a point where everyone else cleared the dance floor to watch us...because we are super cute and they were obviously intimidated by our level of expertise! Little by little people began to come back and prospects began to arise. There was "green shirt" who was standing like a wallflower waiting to be approached. Unfortunately for us, "black widow" got to him first...we quickly danced in the other direction. Another big prospect was accompanied by very cute, possibly lesbian couple. I will call this man "straight suspenders". He was super cute, dark hair, dark eyes in good shape...lovely smile and as if to attract gay attention he was wearing rainbow suspenders! perfect! we started to dance over, trying to get our dany noticed, but suspenders wasn't really biting. We began to think he may be straight, but if he was...well we thought that would just be rude and distasteful. After consulting with Miranda and pausing in our quest to dance to "Single ladies"...Dany confidently marched over to mr. suspenders and asked him straight out (haha). The verdict...rainbow suspenders does not equal gay man. le sigh.

All in all it was good night though...lots of laughs...lots of characters. Nobody wanted to be Dany's neighbor and perhaps, for him, it turned out better this way and it gave us a lovely story to share with all of you.

But the question remains: why rainbow suspenders? that's just plain mean.

~ Tia